Now a Mummy!

I have been meaning to write on the challenges of breastfeeding for so long, in fact, I have even drafted one but never got around to publish it.

Then I read Mama Hafiy’s post and I couldn’t agree more. I found myself nodding throughout the post.

Prior to Baby AH’s delivery, I had read a lot on breastfeeding and most made it sound as if it is the most natural and simple thing to do.

While it is, of course, the right to do, it is far from easy.

The first week baby AH was born, he spent a lot of time sleeping (being on pethidine contributed to this too!). I was taught to breastfeed on demand, which to my understanding would be to breastfeed when he’s hungry. If baby AH is sound asleep, it meant that he was not hungry, right? Plus it gave us time to sleep too! Selfish, I know.

On his 7th day, I had to pay for it. Baby AH was diagnosed with jaundice and had to be admitted to RIPAS for extensive phototherapy. His JI was 18, I think and his bilirubin level was almost 500. I cried from the moment the doctor told me that he had to be admitted till the day before he was discharged. It was here I succumbed to FM as apparently baby AH was not getting enough milk from me. However, I didn’t stop from giving him BM and started expressing a lot too.

I remember the second night in the hospital, I was expressing in the middle of the night and because I was using Avent bottles and the hospital’s pump was a Medela, it didn’t quite fit. So, there I was, expressing and I dropped the bottle as I fell asleep! I think I must’ve had almost 2oz of EBM already after almost an hour! I cried and I cried but  ‘no point in crying over spilt milk’, yeah?

I think if it wasn’t for my mum who made me milo ALL the time and encouraged me to breastfeed, I would’ve given up BF completely then.

We then tried mixing FM and BM, once we were at home but I think, we only managed to do it few times (by few I mean 3-4 times) before my milk started to really kick in and I decided to completely stop FM! I guess, I’m lucky that baby AH still likes my BM, rather than the FM we introduced him to.

Many has said a lot of discouraging things to me but I just chose to smile and ignore. At times, it hurts but I like to think that they are just saying it out of experience and only have mine and baby AH’s interests at heart.

I chatted with mothers who have bf-ed or bf-ing their babies for at least 6 months, I read blogs on mothers who are bf-ing their babies (so I can feel jealous and continue to bf my baby) and I google on how to increase my supply.

Besides that, getting a nursing pillow (I now have two! Haha.) helped too. Previously, I had problem on latching my baby on and my arm would be numb too. Alhamdullilah, with the nursing pillow, it is easier for my baby to latch on, my arm doesn’t feel as numb anymore and moreover, I have less backache too!

Oh, with the proper latch on, Alhamdullilah, I don’t get sore and cracked nips anymore (palmer’s helped a lot too!).

I, now have worked for almost a month and although I have bought a small tin of FM (those things are expensive, huh?), it remained unopened. Everytime I pray, I pray that I will continue to bf my baby for as long as I can.

I know it is a personal choice if mothers choose to feed their babies with FM and I have nothing against that. My post is just to share with you that my journey to bf my baby wasn’t easy. There were a lot of crying (by the baby AND myself!) and there were many times, I just wanted to give up.

If you decide to bf you baby but finding it difficult, here are what worked for me (it may work or may not on you) besides the obvious:

1. Get a nursing pillow! Mothercare sells them (very expensive too, if I may add!) but I got mine from Huaho for much less and from KL (they deliver to Brunei too!) for much, much less! Leave me a comment if you want to know how to get one. It lessens the pressure of trying to get the bay to properly latch on.

2. Don’t let people’s discouraging words get to you- ‘Maybe you’re not producing enough milk’ is a favourite. Another one is ‘your breasts will sag’.

3. Reading books will tell you that bf-ing is the best and most natural thing to do and it puts you under a lot of pressure to continue to bf-ing baby. It is the best but it is not easy. Read blogs or forums and you will know that most mothers share the same feeling- bf-ing is challenging but you ahve to persevere!